Sex is complex at the best of times and when sexual concerns arise it can become all-encompassing for the individuals involved. Common sexual problems that people seek out help for are:

• desire/arousal problems
• ejaculation issues (delayed or premature)
• orgasm difficulties and
• painful intercourse/inability to have intercourse

Sexual issues develop as a result of many factors that may include:

• underlying illness, for example, pelvic pain, diabetes and depression
• medications and treatment, such as, blood pressure medications and radiation therapy
• relationship distress
• work, family, parenting stressors
• fatigue
• normative transitions, such as, pregnancy and postpartum, and the aging process
• dependency on pornography and
• trauma

As a registered sex therapist (BESTCO), I will look at your situation through three lenses. First of all I need to understand the condition on a physiological level and this may involve consulting, with your consent, with your doctor, urologist or gynecologist.

Secondly, I want to get a sense of how the sexual problem is also affecting you on an emotional and psychological level and how other stressors in your life may be contributing to the issue.

Finally, I will need to understand the quality of your relationships (past and present) and how the dynamics may be affecting your sexual functioning. If you are currently in a relationship, I will suggest that your partner participate in the therapy.

Typically sex therapy can be a brief form of therapy that involves homework tasks and readings.  However, it is not uncommon to have to address nonsexual issues first, using other forms of individual and couple psychotherapy, before dealing with the sexual problem. For example, I may be required to help partners find new ways to deal with conflict in their relationship or understand how a person’s history of childhood sexual abuse impacts their sexuality.

Learn more about sex therapy and counselling of the Board of Examiners of Sex Therapy and Counselling of Ontario.